The Buffalo Bills haven’t been a good team since the turn of the century.
But that doesn’t mean those who follow them haven’t been entertaining when the team hasn’t. It seems that at just about every epic Bills tailgate party at their suburban Buffalo home, inebriated fans pull stunts that would the guys at “Jackass” stand and clap.
We believe that Bills fans are the nuttiest — and most loyal — bunch of all 32 teams’ followers, given some of the videos and photos of hard-partying lunatics doing unthinkable things.
Just this past week, one well-watered dude actually set himself on fire at a parking lot kegger before the Bills 30-27 victory over Tampa Bay. True story, and we thought the game itself was interesting.
Over the past few years, the Twitterverse has been alight with the tailgate shenanigans from the Queen City. We bring you 10 hilarious acts that will live on in internet infamy.
10. Burly Bills Fan Body Slams Hapless Woman
New Era Field (ex-Rich Stadium) in Orchard Park has a huge parking lot that is dotted with fold out tables, barbecues and kegs of beer on any given Sunday when the Bills are in town. Hordes of fans, die-hard and casual, congregate to swill suds, eat BBQ and carry on like there is no tomorrow. It’s as if the game is secondary to everything else on offer. This past Sunday, before the Bills were set to take on the visiting Tampa Bay Buccaneers, a crowd gathered by a table full of red solo cups, as is the norm. One huge fan, decked out in a sleeveless blue shirt with a “1” on it, is seen hoisting a petite, and probably drunk, young woman. With much fanfare, he body slams her into said table, to the delight of the well-lubricated goofballs gathered round. Yikes.
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) October 23, 2017
9. Santa Claus Nearly Bites It
In keeping with the WWE theme, we bring you a body slam even a Philadelphia fan would show shock at. One fine December afternoon two years ago, the faithful were doing their level best to prime for a game, when Buffalo Bills Santa Claus made an appearance. Instead of having the congregation line up to wish for a championship, a real team or a warmer place to drink and goof off, the big man took one for the team. Dressed in his reds and sporting a Bills hard hat and flag as a cape, he faced off with a burly well-wisher. In one fell swoop, he was hoisted in the air and unceremoniously dropped on yet another fold out table awash in Bud Light. The horror.
— Pleasure Monkey (@CreeepySteve) December 6, 2015
8. A Tailgate Front Flip Gone Horribly Wrong
Sometimes, it’s best to leave the diving antics to Olympians. Earlier this season, prior to a game between the Bills and the Denver Broncos (which the Bills actually won, 26-16), one jacked up fan stood atop an SUV, ready to chug one of probably 11-teen beers that day. As the crowd around him cheers, the young fan in the backward Bills cap shotguns his can of suds, then executes a rather interesting ersatz front flip/forward roll off the vehicle. To the consternation of some older folks partying it up behind him, he lands, breaking another poor fold out table. Unscathed, he gets up and thrusts his arms in the air like an opposing player scoring a TD at New Era.
go bills pic.twitter.com/fVitim8sC0
— Rob Quinn (@RobQuinn619) September 24, 2017
7. Dizzy Bat Enthusiast Eats Bus Grill
In the Buffalo Bills official “Fan Code of Conduct”, it states therein about what behaviors will not be tolerated, including: “Inappropriate binge drinking – binge drinking games, funnels and kegs are not permitted.” Uh, yah, right. When it comes to drinking games, Bills fans have them down to a science. The year 2015 seemed to have special significance in Bills fan idiocy lore (the team was 8-8 that year). One intrepid fan decided that a wiffle-bat was the perfect chalice for his brand of brew and in front of an enthusiastic throng he drained a bat full. Not content with impressing everyone around him, he decided “dizzy bat” was in order and spun around the empty vessel. He finishes his twirl unscathed and seems ready to smack a can tossed at him. Only he stumbles wildly to his left and crashes face first into a parked bus. Ouch.
6. Bills Fan Can’t Even RKO Dummy Tom Brady
Tom Brady has been victimizing the Buffalo Bills for a long time now. The enmity that the faithful have for Tom Terrific is palpable. So, what better way to thumb their nose at one of the game’s great quarterbacks than to have one funnel-swilling maniac attempt decapitate an inert Brady dummy. Wearing a LeSean McCoy jersey, no less, this young dude hammers down a litre or so of beer through a funnel. OK, nothing to see here. Once finished, he charges head long at the faux-Brady, goes elbows first through the air, only to graze Tom’s “head” and fall awkwardly on his back into the grass (good thing). The best impression of many a Bills linebacker, we say.
Can’t beat bills fans. Unreal. pic.twitter.com/8KaxcYSnGo
— Jimmy Rowley (@RowleyJimmy) September 20, 2015
5. The Ladies Can’t Help Themselves, Either
The domain of alcohol-fueled hijinks before Bills games isn’t just the domain of jersey-wearing dudes. The ladies, it seems, can drink with the best of them and create a little mayhem themselves. On another fine day prior to a Bills-Jets tilt — these ones seem to attract a particular brand of crazy — three young women adorned in Bills endorsed jerseys were seen standing in a truck bed, tipping back whatever can of local swill they could get their hands on. In front of them, as per usual, is another lonely fold out table with the remnants of hours of drinking littered about. In solidarity, the girls finish their beer and arms linked, jump in the air to finish off the furniture. But, when their feet hit the table top, they take a nasty tumble sideways. The score: Table 1 – Bills Fans 0.
— Laces Out (@LacesOutShow) September 10, 2017
4. Bills Fans Can’t Leave Tables Alone, Not Even On The Road
The Bills fans’ tailgate isn’t just confined to the leafy neighborhood around New Era. In 2015, there’s that year again, a horde of party-hearty Buffalo fans invaded the lot around MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. Another day, another off-the-chain drinkfest before a Bills-Jets contest. This time, a rather portly guy in a beer-stained Buffalo hoodie is filmed eyeing up a table like it’s a platter of sliders at Jack In The Box. With a death stare only Bruce Smith could effect, the swarthy fella gives a thumbs up and charges headlong into the night. Just as he is about to leap, two other fans hoist him by his belt loops, sending him crashing heavily into the table, which collapses quite easily.
— Adam Beilman (@AdamBeilman) November 16, 2015
3. Beer Can No Match For Fan’s Chompers
Why open a beer the old fashioned way when using one’s pearly whites will do? We’ve seen this movie before, where well-lubricated folks crack a bottle of beer open with their teeth, instead of just twisting the cap off. Uh, dumb. One Buffalo Bills fan, who obviously didn’t like using his fingernails to flip up the tab on his tall boy, chose yet another interesting way to get pickled. A guy wearing a Bruce Smith jersey, perhaps giving him more than liquid courage, smiles for the camera with his chosen can of beer. Then, he bends over, grasps it with both hands and bites down hard on it. We figured he was just using his teeth to pull the tab up, but no, he actually rips the whole top off and spits it out. And delivering the final coup de grace, he drains the contents in one big ol’ gulp.
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) December 3, 2015
2. Fan Executes Near Flawless Back Flip
Sometimes, watching these over-the-top Buffalo Bills fans making Twitter explode, we wonder if they can even get drunk. We’ve shown you a body slam or three here, but this one takes the cake for looking like it was staged by professionals (even though we know they are sauced to the gills). The only flaw that we spy in this one is that a table holding one liquored up crazy is already showing signs of distress. Just out of the frame, initially, is a guy in a red Bills jacket and camo bush cap, standing tippy-toe on a truck tailgate. As the guy on the table, and a friend helping holding it up, look on, the truck bed dude does a back flip worthy of Jackie Chan. He lands, squarely, on the mid-section of table dude, sending everything into a heap. Huzzah!
— Jumbo jeff (@jumbojeffk) November 8, 2015
1. When Plain Old Table Crashing Just Won’t Do, Add Fire
For our final entrant into this compilation of Buffalo Bills tailgate hilarity, we give you the “Darwin Award” winner. We have a sneaking suspicion that the longer the Bills go without a title, the harder their followers will try to out-do each other in the parking lot to “win.” Last Sunday, the throng were again brought together for BBQ and brews, when a camera catches another fold-out table (we should open a store near New Era that sells them, cha-ching) set alight with some kind of combustible substance. Out of nowhere, a fan wearing a Sammy Watkins “14” jersey (we’re not kidding), leaps in the air and falls back first into the burning mess. Only, some of the burning liquid adheres to him. At least he had the presence of mind to “stop, drop and roll” after realizing he resembled some of the meat on grills around him. Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
Dumbest thing you’ll see all day pic.twitter.com/0BNW8Ixknj
— Eric Rosenthal (@ericsports) October 22, 2017